The Red Pill movement is one of the better known groups of the Men's rights movement growing around the world. But considering the dominance of Patriachy in Africa, is it relevant on the continent or, in Uganda? Joining me to discuss this is well known Media Personality, RX Radio Host and " Boy Warrior" James Onen, better known as Fat Boy.
Welcome to M's view and this is a podcast that talks about anything and everything well, the stuff that you care about and probably, um not willing to talk very openly about just stuff that is on our minds and we just don't really get a chance to kind of flesh it out. My name is Melanie and joining me today is Fatboy AKA, Jameson or fat boy whichever way you want to call him and know him but he's he's known personally to me definitely. But hey, I will have to do the proper intro under sound professional about this so far boy is in Uganda an award winning radio presenter and online station RX radio. That's his baby. That's his thing. And he's also popular a bit controversial radio host in Uganda please unconventional views towards religion and more recently an outspoken advocate for men's rights. So that is it accurate description of you dude? up pretty good.
Okay, so I am today because we know each other, we've known each other for what feels like don't kiss now. Right? Forever, but you feel old? I do. Right? I recently turned the big 4-0 0h oh Don't Don't say I saw you crying about it on Facebook. It wasn't crying like oh my God, what's gonna happen? And I think and I think I commented on that, I must have said something. You don't think you did? Delete? I did. And I say something like, Hey, get a kid or something? No, you didn't. So that means basically must have been in your head. And you're not telling me that would have just set off like a social media. Anyone who comes up to me like that? Gets a kid, I'm a big human, you crush them? Or you just like, because no, because it's turning 40 is not very different for turning 30 It's just that you're wiser. Your parts are older for men and women is different. All right, agreed. Because for for a man it kind of feels like Keno he still has. In fact, for a man, mostly he's entering his prime in terms of his status in society and his income level. You know, and usually late, a lot of ladies still are quite interested in guys that age. So if you're 40 and fit, you're hot, you are a hot property, but a woman when you're 40. And this is again, about perception. But then, you know, we'll talk about this some other time, because we don't want to do this right now. But you know, right now, I'm 40. And I feel great. And I wish I wish I could have been told the truth about turning 40 It hasn't dimmed my prospects at all.
I
Well, I wonder, isn't there a difference, though, and I think sometimes there's a conflation of two things. So yeah, you, you I guess what you're referring to is all the myths that once you hit 40 Men want to want to Yes, or the thing is men will still want you even if you turn 80 men will want you questions. What would they what will they want you for? Yes. So once you cross a woman crosses a certain age, particularly 14 upwards, any men you encounter, or at least a majority of them, you're going to find are going to be men that are just looking for a good time. Yes. Now, if you think you happen to be wanting, wanting the same, yes, then then that's fine, then that's fine for you. But I'm saying a lot of women into their 40s believing they're going to meet the man of their dreams. And usually, it's quite difficult because the man of their dreams usually I if they if the girl woman is 40 Typically the man will be older man, he's either married
or if he's not the real contention.
So So quite often, about 40 women will end up being mistresses to married men, or they will end up being toys for I guess, you know, board bachelor's? Yeah.
So. So for me my understanding of turning 40 is that you take that into consideration, right? You be realistic, but all along, I knew I was going to get here 40 didn't sneak up on me when I was 20. I didn't. I knew I didn't want to have children. I didn't want the typical monogamous quote unquote, relationship. So I've lived my life consistent. My only concern and this for me is a real thing is if I changed my mind about having children, that window fertility is closing quick.
If it hasn't already, if
it hasn't, and that's exact because my dad was like, It's too late now. And I was like, really? I use are you saying that to me? But then I'm thinking but this
you know, hey, Janet Jackson at 50 Naomi Campbell 51.
Okay, but you know what, that's fine. That's all well and done, but the question is quality of life for the child. I do not want to be pushing a promise 50 or 60. Do you understand what I'm saying? Even just for the child running around of love to run around with them if I chose in my 20s and in my 30s and this is going to shock people and I say this, if I had wanted children, straight out of university, knock them out. 1234 done
So what was that? So what's your reason for not? Like, why did you not have children when you were younger? What made you decide you didn't want children?
I, like I try to understand and I try to approach my life with as much honesty as possible.
I believe that the same is true for your sister. She has no children. It doesn't seem like she wants to
know that one. She might get those really give it time. I've talked to I've had like little hotspots, and I'm trying to convince her that she needs to get exactly what she wants. Not she's jaded. Different jaded about Yes. About men, or no, not just about No, no, not about men about the prospect of family and monogamy and all that stuff. Okay, well, for me, I think it just does not apply to me, because I think there's a two two differences here, right. I believe in monogamy for people who choose it, I believe in polyamory for people who choose I believe in children to choose it is just not for me.
I understand. But, I mean, when you look around society now, I mean, it almost seems laughable just the way people are pretending you know, married people, a lot of them aren't happy, and those that might put up appearances. You know, it's still, it's quite obvious that, you know, you're gonna hear stories about the man sneaking around, you're gonna hear stories about the woman sneaking around or something like that, right? And they're clearly not happy. So Aren't we at a point where it's time for, you know, the pretense to end like, why? So now when a friend of mine tells me, Hey, I'm getting married, like, I don't even miss words, I tell him bad idea. And that that's my opinion. And I tell him that, because I'm not just gonna go with the flow and congratulate you, because that's sort of what people do. I just tell you, yo, I don't think it's a good idea. But hey, if you want to do it, do it. And usually, he will always respond with some hesitation like,
I sure know, but oh, crap. No, I will say, and this is for me, I am guilty of this. I try not to be as pessimistic as you are. And I use the word pessimism, pessimism very carefully. But for for guys, when they say I'm getting married, oh, like, Oh, congratulations, good for you. For women, when they say I'm getting married and mock ups. Why? Why? Why? Because it looks like the odds are stacked against, especially in this kind of society, which kind of brings us to the topic that we want to talk about right? Now. You being a man's? Would, would it be correct to describe you as a man's rights advocate? Is that is that is that it?
Well, you can call me boy, child warrior.
You know what I know? Okay, you as a boy, child warrior, you are literally in this country, the forefront of making sure men's rights are known. And you are advocating for those, please explain this to me why?
So, um, maybe the word rights is a bit too strong, okay? Because that would imply sort of an activist that's trying to get laws changed, or some sort of more amicable or more favorable treatment by the courts, you know, towards men. That's not really my thing. Mine is more a perception thing, where I like to discuss some of the many mysteries surrounding dating relationships and marriage that are not often discussed, okay? Which leads for which leads a lot of men to enter into relationships or marriages blindly, only for them to have to learn the hard way what the reality is, because a lot of us look, we grew up watching Disney. And we were told, Hey, you're going to find that one special person that just loves you unconditionally, that loves you for you. You know, those 10 girls who broke your heart before, forget about those, those were terrible people. But there's just one person out there, she's out there. And if you keep trying, you will find her. And so guys will go from one relationship to the next into the next and to be fair, women go through the same cycle. Although they seem to be a bit more comfortable with their delusions, women are more idealistic when it comes to these
delusions that we're talking about. Now, generally speaking,
so a woman can go through 10 heartbreaks, and will still be optimistic that the next man she lands on might be the one yes, for a man, all it will take is usually one heartbreak. And he's like set for life like he he will be dead, permanently broken and cynical.
And that is not
a good thing. There are mitigating factors like family pressure and religion that might sort of still compel him towards a commitment. Are we
are we demonizing the optimism of many women and and applauding the jaded nonsense of many men who get one or two heartbreaks and they're like, oh shit, to be honest, done.
I actually envy women. Because I think the ability to be bounced back to to delude yourself is a powerful gift. The thing is, it's kind of like if you've watched the matrix, you know, they said, Hey, here's the red pill. Here's the blue pill. Take the blue pill you go back to sleep into your Dreamland. Everything is fine. You go back to your comfortable Reality, okay, but I give you the red pill, you take the red pill and you'll see reality for what it is. And I have to say, I can't promise you'll be happy with what you see. And so we the cynical men are the men that have taken the red pill. Okay, Red Pill movement. Okay. Right. Talk to me about So essentially, the red pill. It's again, boring from The Matrix imaginary. Yeah. And it's a very convenient and useful analogy, because it just sort of describes what happens when you have a certain idealistic perception of the world. Okay, versus what the reality is this the comfortable life plus the harsh truth. So what would you rather live and if you see in the matrix, there's a character called cipher played by Joe, something, something. I forget his other name Pantoliano, where he at some point he's been he's he took the red pill, at some point, he came out of the matrix, but man, life was hard in reality, and he was like, he made a deal with the agents to betray his fellow free people so that he can be inserted back into the matrix and back into Dreamland. Yeah, there are times when I feel like that, because the comfort of that idealism is quite sometimes I miss it, you know, because
Okay, so. So let me let me get this straight. So basically, you're saying men and women have it hard? Yeah, no one has it harder? Is that what you say? Is this the main thing
I'm saying? Alright, so in my perspective, I feel like, we both have our issues and challenges. Yes, but women are gifted with the power of self delusion that unfortunately, men cannot easily access. So for example, and this is why so my approach to relationships is obviously a very cynical one. Okay. Because before, I mean, I can recall, like in my, what I will call the blue pill days in my Disney phase, where I believed in all the romantic notions, you know, where you're with a woman, and she's, like, really sweet, and nice and kind to you and affectionate and you're thinking to yourself, wow, finally, you know, I found the one that's different. And then you just sort of allow yourself to get sucked into the, the oral, for love and to just bask in it and to get comfortable in it. Okay, only for things to end up precisely how all your other relationships did, right. Yeah. This is assuming she's the one that caused the problems. And so now, after having taken the red pill now, wearing my cynical hat, if ever, I'm in a situation, and I have, you know, been with women who, for a period of time when they're infatuated, like, they literally worshipped me, they're completely compliant and agreeable and friendly. So what compliance and like super sexual and all those things in mind my one, right, mirroring all of your preferences and tastes right? To give you the impression that you have found a soulmate? Yeah. But you see, now when that happens, essentially. I'm like, Yeah, I'll just give it a few weeks. Yeah, that you know, this will wait. I mean, it's just a phase and, and, and 10 out of 10, that phase comes to an end. And eventually, this woman reverts to being your normal woman where she's irritated by everything you do, nothing you do can never be enough. But what you're saying is a lot, she starts talking to other guys looking around behind your back.
But what you're saying is a lot of things that psychologists, social psychologists and all have actually described as the honeymoon phase, and it ends and it ends for both parties. All parties involved, both the men and the women. They feel that difference. Yes, I will say this, I'm sorry. Because from everything you have said, You just basically have a what you're saying the red pill movement is just jaded individuals. Such sound like they're just whining because they failed at something. And now they're just whining. So what would
success mean in this scenario, if we're the ones whining because of failure, what does success look like? What What's the opposite of us?
What's the opposite? Be really okay. So it's the
guy who's happily and blissfully married? No, there
is no such thing as happily and busy and blissfully married so who's the opposite of us? No. Realism, but realism that is not tainted with the whole dooms day. Oh, shit. Oh, this is going to?
I mean, it I think if realism. I mean, let's, let's be mathematical about it. If you are, let's say you said you're 40 years. Yes. Yes, I am. Let's assume every year or every couple of years, there's been a boyfriend. Yeah. So in your life, you've probably dated at a minimum 20 Guys, probably more. Now, if you happen to be single now, which I wonder are you do? Would you describe yourself as single? No, I wouldn't describe it. There is no one that claims you
can't No one can properly claim in the traditional sense. Okay. That means
thus far. 100% of your relationships have failed.
And that's okay. No, actually, because you see, now he's getting okay, I'm digressing. No.
Each time you enter a new relationship, you're entering that relationship with no track record of 100% failure rate.
This is a problem with perception. So this is a problem perception. Because if I enter a relationship, I've never entered in relationship thinking this is going to last forever, ever, in my life ever. Oh, well, one boyfriend, it was one boyfriend that I thought, Oh, my goodness, I want to have babies. But you see, every relationship after that was, look, this is good for a time. Listen, do it for as long as we can. So maybe it will last 10 years, maybe last two, maybe last two months, maybe last 50 years. Yeah. But an understanding that things can change. People change things can end means no, the relationship came to an end, you are not a failure, you just moved on.
Alright, so. So I'll tell you something. So I would say that there are two types of guys, right. They're the guys who kind of just happy go lucky. They want to screw around, jump from woman to woman and enjoy life that way. So we the men in the red pill were the ones that were the romanticists were the ones that believed in love. We are the ones who formally would have wanted to commit ourselves to a woman and she's got a family and lived with them happily ever after that one person. So we would have been the ones who would have typically invested in the relationships that we got into where you attempted to be supportive, expressive, romantic, and all of those things. Now every man will tell you who's been through that phase is that it always ends in failure. And what do you see in the end is that you see, or either find out that she's sneaking behind your back, to go back to the Dude, she used to whine to you about who was supposedly so terrible, right? Or she's gonna jump off your relationship to go be with a guy who's not anywhere near as committed as you are, you know, just because she's in this, I want to discover myself whole phase where she's tired of the constraints of a committed relationship. She wants to hit the bars and the clubs does with different guys and I guess, express and enjoy her sexuality and be admired my by men. In fact, in my opinion, I feel like when women into relationships, they're taking a break from their natural state. I think a woman's natural state is to frolic about be admired by men, wined and dined by as many as she can enjoy it. Let
me ask you a question. He gets tired of it. No, no, no, no. Let me ask you a question. You said that and I want you to react to a couple of things. He said that what is the man's natural state?
I think the man's natural state is it could be similar.
Okay, so now when it could be similar, the problem is no going off that if it is similar, and this is the thing about the cause so far from what you've told me about the red tail movement, it just I'm sorry. AKA whiners aka losers that are failed at this relationship thing. So they take an extreme stance.
Nor is the reason I'm smiling is because Because typically, okay, your definition, see, because if I were to ask a normal person, what the opposite of a person like me would be, they would point me to a person that has a happy family and a loving wife and they will look they will say to me, look at how happy those people are. Isn't that great? So who you with your scenarios? Excuse me, there's people out there that are blissfully happy you just know the wrong girl.
Don't this is what this is what? Okay, good. But go ahead.
The funny thing is you don't know the full story about those so called happily married couple. Yes. But you see, because up until up until two weeks ago, we all thought Flavia and Andrew were in heaven.
Actually. I don't know why we want to bring that up. But anyone was paying attention. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no word on the street is we need to be a little more realistic because one on the street was a little more realistic. I'm so sorry. No one who was paying attention. Was that a shock to that is, okay, well, so and that and that is why and now so so here's the thing, for men who come into the red pill movement, I understand shit can be hard. She has heartburn. And for me, this is what I see. Women have known for the fucking longest time, that shit is hard. Right? It's just that because they've been at that at a disadvantage and I don't say that to to sympathy or anything because they've been at a disadvantage long, long enough for very long for eons. centuries. They have developed coping mechanisms some can say it's evolution. Sometimes they've cooked the develop coping mechanisms to give them a certain form of so called self delusion that allows them to keep on at this meeting game. Men are new to it. The reason they are new to it is because life has conspired, as we know it right now society to get them to a point of some of them having some form of disadvantage Because of some form of equality that's coming up. And because of that, now all of a sudden they find themselves in a position of, oh shit, it sucks out here is sucked forever, man. And this I think men grow up, life is hard. And
you and I say, you know, and here's the thing, you're calling us whiners. But I'm among those, I would classify myself and the like, those of like mind as being the ones who have adapted to the situation, because he has a problem. Because you were, you raised a good point about how a lot of men are resisting, you know, the wave of equality that has come down comfortable with the changing gender dynamics, the gender roles, you know, a lot of men seem to prefer women that are a bit more traditional and submissive, and now that women are getting educated, getting good jobs and are independent, some men are uncomfortable with that and, and you're right to mock guys like that. So guys like me, on the other hand, I'm okay with that. And I have adapted to the situation. That is why I could never suffer. I can, I can never inflict upon a woman the indignity of being my wife. I will treat her as a pure equal are in our relationship will be based on mutual attraction. Okay. Okay. Yep. I will not be investing into our relationship. If it isn't, if it even would be a relationship, I would not be investing into it any more than I would need to. Okay to be able to, I guess. See her the next day. I can't say you got I mean? So no, this sort of curious No, like, you know, investing in you know, building a home for us to live in or, or spending so much money on her or stuff like that, you know, like you like me, I like you. Okay, cool. Let's roll. Let's Let's rock.
So these are what so so so I can see so far in my mind's eye, how the red pill movement plays out in so called more advanced societies or more developed countries, the States, Europe, that kind of thing. I want to understand how does it play out here in Africa, especially where
you can see it? Because we you? I think what you and perhaps you haven't yet noticed this, but we do have a generation of F boys? Yes. Yes. Yes. Generation of of men who don't want to spend money on women. They just tell a girl Hey, come over to my place. Yes. And that's it. Maybe at best a coffee. Um, you know, very few men are wining and dining. There's still a few thirsty guys. And maybe there are men of culture who still like the fine things in life. But by and large, most guys, you know, like if we say we met on Tinder, yes. You know, we might meet for one or two coffees at best the next time I'm going to propose to come to yours or invite you to mine. Yeah. And then that's how we're going to be meeting okay. I in no way will be investing in your well being, I will not be paying your bills. If you fall sick. I'll be like, oh, gosh, damn, I'm sorry about that. Hope you get well soon. You're not gonna see me come to visit you and bring you flowers or bring you food. Are
you against that?
I want? No, no. Do it if you want anyone can do that if they want. I'm just saying that the degree of my obligation towards a woman is now minimal. Yeah, minimum. And that's comfortable for me. Yeah. Because like I said, guys, like me come from a place where we had, we were the guys that would do a lot for a woman, okay. And then things ended the way they did. And it led a lot of us to believe that sometimes, or most times, it's just not worth it. Because if it's going to end anyway, and she's going to give you some flimsy reason about how now apparently, she doesn't feel a connection or whatever that means. You'd really rather just withhold all of the things you can bring to a woman's life and this is the tragedy of it. Because when a man loves a woman, he can do so much for her. But we've been punished so many times for doing so that now we just withhold and now interestingly, we are able to still meet up women and have sex with them and date them.
No Okay, that's true. But you know, it's it's so funny to me because all I can see is that you guys are new to this suffering game. Right? It this branch of suffering game women we've been going through the shit for millennia. And and again, I am not I'm not against the realistic approach to relationships. What I'm against is an extremist move. Where guys are like oh fuck, you know women we fuck women and all these things like anything that that screams Insell type nonsense hatred towards hatred towards misogyny or whatever I like I hate I hate like those trigger words, but you know what I mean, but this hatred towards them. No Be realistic about No, there are
I mean, look, there are some men who, who hate women. Yeah. and some who might feel is not just hatred, but maybe even a sense of entitlement. You know, so if I am a man and I approached you, and I'm nice to you, you know, I deserve to be loved by you. And if you don't love me, therefore it means I should call you names or I should even harm you this this psychos who think like that? Yeah. Um, but you know, and that's unfortunate. I come from a place where I understand women and sort of treat them the way they are
you understand, we understand, we women don't understand ourselves, we do our day to day basis. So.
So okay, that's the reason why I think when women have and as you mentioned, rightly, they have suffered for a long time. But part of what helped them was that it was considered socially acceptable for them to discuss their experiences with men. So throughout history, women have been allowed to congregate to discuss men, we understand
that. That's no, Oprah Winfrey, a great
guys, aunties, yes, women just sit and spend a whole day discussing the experiences with men sharing tips, sharing ideas. Yeah. However, for men, it was considered a taboo. So we did so we ended up having no way of really learning how to deal with women. They were just told just, you know, our mothers will tell us just get out there be nice be a gentleman and you know, you'll get the girl okay. And so we were sent out there into the line of fire because we would go out there and do as mommy said, you know, treat a girl nice, buy her flowers, love her and all that stuff. And then, you know, we'd get shut down each time either we would be rejected outright, our gestures were considered to be creepy. And they would much prefer chasing the guys that weren't or clean eating. And so the girls would instead be chasing the guys that seemed indifferent, aloof, uncaring, and unbothered. Like, those are the guys that seem to arouse the passions of the women that we liked. I mean, it's so dispiriting Can I tell you, I mean, they're you are trying your best to be romantic and please a woman, and you're going to be met with a very sort of lukewarm attitude from her or in some cases, she might take you for granted. And guess who is the guy she's crying for and dying for and willing to do anything for? It's the loser who did nothing for her?
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People enshrine their experiences, right? as indicators of everything in life. For instance, I'll give you an example. Women, we have a problem, I admit in our 20s because we are very primal at that point in time. And we have not engaged enough life experience and brains, we will go towards the primal instinct of the so called alpha male, right? What is the ultimate typically look like where he's aggressive, either physically or not? Depending on but then he he's the he's the proverbial fuck boy, who doesn't give a shit. But all it is saying is just that whole hyperbole masculine thing is a primal thing. But by the time a woman is 25, she should know better, right? So if you're a guy in your 30s, and you keep getting burnt by these stupid women who keep on going towards these fuck boys, it has nothing to do with these women. It's you the idiot who's picking the wrong woman. Because there are women who are self aware who said, Look, my primal instinct has got to go to as a fuck boy, but nice. Men are great. They're good for me in the long run, right? Because I've not met a woman who hasn't said that we are not attracted to the bad boy. It's just as you get older, you curb that instinct. The same thing with men, men, a pole dancer, they're attracted to that chick in the ballot, but some of them cabinet and said, Look, I want to make a home. So
well. Um, I like how you, you you frame it? Because the fact is, this is this is how it looks from a man's perspective. And we discussed this a lot in red pill corners in the internet, okay. It is known as we call it the epiphany phase. So of a woman so what happens is, is that while she's still young and new bow and attractive as sexual prime, yeah, she's chasing the bad boys, the alphas the F boys. And usually when you approach such a girl with serious romantic intention, she will typically tell me, I'm not thinking about settling now, I'm just living my best life right now. Which in short means she's screwing around with the bad boys and having so much fun. That's what it means. Okay? So what happens is, eventually, because all these alphas they never commit to these women, they very seldom do. And in a lot of cases, these women try to trap these alphas by getting pregnant, which, I mean, if you want to understand why they're single moms, these are all alpha widows, these are all I would go as far as say, these are failed attempts at entrapment, I would say 90% of them at least. So for all the talk of all some that some dude is a deadbeat, you know, these a lot of these women made a conscious decision to get impregnated. Some of them who they knew did not have serious intentions. So anyway, um, so they want now 3030 to 35. And all of a sudden, you've hit your epiphany phase where you realize, okay, some women hit it earlier, they're like, Okay, the alphas I like, don't seem to like me, they seem to, well, all they seem to want from me is just quick sex, they don't seem to be willing to wine and dine me and entertain me the way they used to when I was younger. Now they're directing all that energy to the women younger than me. Therefore, now I'm going to price myself hire any man that wants intimacy and romance from me now needs to step up and bring something to the table. So now all of a sudden, the beta males The Nice Guys are, are in demand. So in the in the in the minds of so. And really, we Red Pill guys are, I guess, formerly nice guys. We were former nice guys.
And now what are you? What are you now? We're red pill, guys. Okay, so now tell me this.
How am I doing? Nice guy at heart? I really am. I'm just, I'm just Yeah,
so it just more realistic about how the dating game plays.
Right? And, and I know, see, because and by the way, it's very important for both men and women to think about this. Anytime you're engaging with someone, always ask yourself in what box is has that person placed me because that should inform your degree of investment in the situation. So if, if you know that some guy just wants to use you for sex, then you should adjust your expectations accordingly, right? Or if you think he wants more from us, you can also adjust. So for guys, it's the same there are times when a girl just wants you for sex. And then there are times when a girl sees you more of a provider type beta. Nice guy. So yeah, so we the provider type beta, nice guys, when these women reach their epiphany phase and approaches in our heads, we're thinking this is used commodities. You know, they're, oh, man.
You're not the nice guy. And we use commodities.
And by the way, you gave to these men your best years now. And you mean your man, for the, for the most part, sexually productive for the most part for free. Meanwhile, I come along, and in order to get an audience with you, I'm supposed to offer you either money, I was supposed to offer you a lifetime commitment. I'm supposed to offer you a vacation, I'm supposed to offer you expensive gifts, you get it. So so. And we in the red pill circles, we understand that it's a raw deal. We understand that. Yeah, when you like a guy, you give it up for free. But the reason why you're demanding all these things from us is because you don't really like us, what you want is what you think we can offer you. And a lot of men find this out the hard way, especially those who will choose to marry some of these women who have hit that epiphany phase these women typically are just getting married for the wedding don't really care all that much for these men and within no time this sneaking around with the
they've gone back to the whole life. You know what? Okay, so let me I mean, it's true, if you say so, but let me let me just say this. Okay, so we'll come back to that. So in terms of the red pill, in terms of Uganda, so it's just about the meeting reproduction thing is that it is that all it is about the no other issues you guys have in you guys, I
think it's more an awareness of the risks attached to the degree of investment you might want to place in a situation or relationship. So for example, you know, um, you know, if I, we match on Tinder, we got on a few dates, we hook up a few times of sex a few times, and then and then you get bored, or you meet someone better and then maybe you ghost me. Yeah, if I happen to like you, I might be like, Oh, well, that that sucks. But life goes on. Yeah, no, I don't. It doesn't you don't dwell on it. I don't dwell on it. Why? Because my investment was minimum. Yeah, compared to a situation where you would have been in a relationship for 2345 10 years even right. And in that period of time, you've invested you know your emotions in this way. Man, your dreams, your hopes, your money into this woman. You know, I think of times when, you know, I've been dumped, and I think of all of the money I spent and all of the effort I spent. Okay, so seriously and ask myself, Wow, what a waste.
You know what a waste. All of that was, let me and I said, Now I know that you guys are just new to the suffering, because it's confirmed to me because the same thing a woman can say, You know what? I was dumped. I invested a lot of my time, my effort, not resources, because men and this is what does a woman invest? Let me just say, Oh, me, a woman invest. First of all. I know what a vagina is a big thing.
Then we have a problem. It shouldn't be.
No, no, let me let me just say this. It's about. It's about where you place your values in terms of what is important to you. We understand men resources are important. Now, hear me out. Men resources are important. So when you lose resources to an investment that goes bad, we understand why it hurts, right? Yeah, women, it might not be your finances, it could just be your time, your reproductive time. All of that is important to us. So we lose in relationships that go bad, right? It's just an I say this, both people could lose a man lose, a woman will lose. It's just a different understandings of loss, but it's still lost. It's just that we do not go in a corner and cry ourselves and say, we've taken the red pill, no, but as a rebel, all I'm saying is guys, you guys are brand new to this suffering, man. It's because your
way right now the thing is, I think what's new is how we're processing the suffering and adapting to this suffering. And so I feel like we've made a lot of progress, because I will tell you, um, you know, it's been years since I was in a serious relationship, and in the period, since I can tell you that, like, I've had no problems, you know, I've dated I've had flings have had, you know, and women come in and go out of my life, and, you know, life goes on. And, and often we're even able to end up, you know, in in good terms. Because what happens is, here's what happens. And here's the biggest problem with a serious relationship is that as a man, you're inclined to invest into it. Because if you love your woman, you want her to be happy. So you're thinking, What can I do for where can I take her? What can I buy for her? How might I pleaser, and so you're spending a lot of this emotional energy. Now the more you invest, the stakes also rise. So that means your expectations from the relationship also increase? Yeah. So that in the event of a breakup, and especially if she's the one that initiates it, okay, it can be very, very devastating. On both one boo when she's the one that
initiates on both, oh, no, no, do you know why do you know what because again, and this is why I said a lot of these things have to be placed in context, right? You live in a society, which is Uganda, which is the larger context, Africa, that is very hard on women, in terms of reproduction, in terms of timing in terms of those kinds of things. So when a woman walks out of a relationship, she may be for quote, unquote, a reasonable person she can reach for reason person for a psycho bitch, right? Either way, when she breaks up, she loses it hurts. The guy's hurting. Yes, fine. But sure. So is she, she's broken up for whatever. Why is she hurt? If she's breaking up with you? Oh, yeah, you can break up and you can look at a guy like I'll give you an example. Right? I'm a woman, right? And I look at a guy and I'm thinking he's good for the long term. Right? Right. So I'm like, he's good for the long term. No, no. You see, I'm okay with you know, I hate that people demonize my beta males man, I'm good with beta males. You explain to them what's not doing? No, I like alphas, betas and sigma. I just like men. But no, exactly. It's
called the Philip, the working principle is, is the working system is it's called Alpha fucks. Beta bucks. So we both have our meaning a woman will be mostly sexually attracted to the alpha and she will primarily seek the alpha if she's looking for sexual gratification. But the beta serves a need, which is for provision and security.
I like the way these things okay, I understand how these things have been categorized. But I'll give you an example. I data guy, right? I look at him. Now. Let's say Jenks, your attitude. You come to me, right? You're not giving me all you're giving. You're being realistic, which is you're right. But you give me lukewarm shit, right? I'm looking at you. And I'm like, I think I want to do a long term thing. But he's giving me lukewarm shit. Right. So we have our fling. It's good. The sex is great. The conversation is amazing. We kind of drive in Everything but I'm looking at you, and you're non committal. Right? And I want to commit long term. What is typically going to happen is I'm going to my withdraw from you is my reaction to it. You're lukewarm nonsense. So I will cut things off. But really because I look at you as non committal, and I'm still hurt, and I'm hurting you,
who do you think is the noncommittal one the alpha or the beta? It's the Alpha typically, right?
Typically because of his sexual choices in terms of the the plethora of them. Yeah,
so the nice guy is the guy that is dying to be with you and spend his life with you. And these are the guys that are getting dumped every day. Now. Alphas here's what happens to alphas. We get ghosted. You know, like, eventually, as you say, you enter that frame of mind where you're like, maybe I think I need more out of this, and this guy's not gonna give it so you start to create distance and slowly slither away. Now, if the guy's an alpha, he's probably really not going to mind. He might just call and say, Hey, what's up what's going on everything good, and you'd be cool. But after that, the dust settles, everyone moves on doesn't bother you. Guess what happens in future, you're gonna look him up. To get it. So that's
what I'm not gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna say, when you're a
beta male, and like the providing provisioning romantic type and a girl dumps you, yo, you're gonna cry. Gonna be cron or not,
but I will say that and you're gonna wind II know, women. We know of women and men to a certain extent, we know women and men as they get older, who have circled back to those so called options that were nice and homely. But we're not as exciting. We know that. So basically, there we know men, alphas, and even so called Alpha women, if there is such a thing, and apparently there is, oh, I've circled back to their better choices, because they are better choices should treat them better. So for me, I don't subscribe to the whole alpha beta types typing, what I subscribe to, is, are you smarter about what you want in life? And are you going after it? Right? Are you realistic about what you want in life? So there are people out there like you, right? Who are like, I don't really want the whole marriage thing. Get together with people who don't really want the marriage thing. But there are men out there who want the marriage thing who want to be romantic, they need to be smart about their choices, because and pick out women not the women who are fucking everything that moves where they exist,
but most women Fuck everything that moves. Let's be honest. Most men Fuck everything that moves. It's not the same though.
What Oh, okay. Why? Why is it not the same? Yeah, this
one is easy, no soreness, so easy. So it's about comparing what prioritizes in the other partner. So when a woman is seeking a long term commitment, she's not a speck her her priorities are security provision, and maybe status okay of the male that she will be pair bonding with or hoping to pair bond with for a long time. Now for a man what we want is or what we prefer is sexual chastity, which is why Virgin's are in high demand and which is why women feel a need to downplay their adventurism because they understand innately that it will make them look unattractive in the eyes of a man, no man wants a woman that they think has been all over the place. Typically, we don't we want a woman to typically give the impression of some form of chastity but a woman doesn't really mind about your sexual history could have slipped your way through Kampala city. But if she views you, if she views you to be a reliable provider, and protector, she will be happy to be with you. I always tell this funny story. So imagine you're at a party. Yeah. And a girl walks into imagine you're at a party and then a girl walks into the room. And all the guys are like, wow, guess what? You see that girl over there? She slept with this guy and that guy and that guy and that guy and that guy? Question. How many of the guys in that room who heard that will want to date this girl? Probably none. Or if not? Very few.
But how many want to fuck her?
All of them. Thank you. But that's my point. I'm talking about commitment. I'm not talking about wanting to have sex. Yeah, I'm talking about wanting to commit now for now. Let's reverse it. Yeah. Oh guy walks into the room. Yes. And women start spreading gossip amongst themselves. Oh, you see that guy? He's been with this girl here. Smooth that girl there. It's been that girl their spirit that girl there guess what half the women in that room are gonna say if not most, which what are they gonna say? I think I'm interested in him now. How
James This
once all that makes all the other women want him, but you are thinking I want a piece of him, you're playing
with the same same concept, they will want to find out and fuck him. They won't want to commit with him. It's the same thing. They will look at him because he didn't know why they won't want to commit to him. Because he's high maintenance. They can't hold on to him, then.
Can I tell you why I disagree? Because just look at the epidemic of single mothers. These single mothers are the result of women who chased men who
had that's not necessarily true, James men who No, no, no, no, no, James, you know, James, you're going to talk about those things are very difficult to quantify. Because there's a plethora of reasons.
I've never seen a single mom that was knocked up by a nice guy. No, I'm yet to know
they are them. But you see, they're single women, that we're doing the single thing, maybe because they try to entrap a man. But they're also those that were we don't they also does that when we left by debit, no, no debit men, they were left. They were left as they tried to commit. And this the stupid men what, whether they offers or not, whichever just left them. So there are a lot of reasons as to why women are single, right? It can't just be that everyone was trying to entrap anyone. But now I want to ask apart apart. Another thing about this red pill movement. So are you saying you are boy child warrior? Just to make sure men do not fall into the trap of marriage? Is that it?
No, I just I want men to make their own decisions. They just need to know what they're dealing with. Really, really? So yeah. So I will. I mean, I would my own opinion on the issue is to not do it. But I mean, if someone wants to do it, they should go ahead and do it. It's just they need to be made aware of it. And I think well, what, what are
the real disadvantages, because you see, here's the thing of why all of a sudden, it just becomes an issue of now it looks like the the playing field is about to be event, right? In terms of all men now realize women are exercising their options. Right. And I was the men have been exercising the options for the longest time. Fair
enough. Yeah. All I'm saying is, then think about it. No, no. Hang on. You see, I'm not saying to women don't do what you're doing? Or be better. Do what you got to do. Be you be the best version of you, if you want to jump around with different guys will sneak behind your man's back?
If not, if you do want to be the chase one, do whatever you want to do,
then, then yeah, then that's fine. But if you are a guy understands what the pros and cons of every situation is, and then go in with your eyes open. Really? That's all I do. And what I do is I tried to dispel the myths that a lot of women perpetuate about women, okay, that I think men need to know more about, because if there are things that I knew beforehand, I think you'd have it would have saved me a lot of grief.
Okay, like, what are the most interesting things like two top things that you think men should know that that they probably don't know about? Women? Okay, top things.
Number one, you can never make a woman happy long term. Number one. Okay. Number two, all women sheets.
Okay. Oh, so let me just say that, can that be? Can that be referred to men? Sure. Never make sure. And then men, all men just fine. It's just basically we are now on another level. Just deal with our realities. You see, here's what it is.
Here's what the difference is, is that different? Women are under no illusion about how terrible men can be. But men have no idea how terrible women can. Do you get to this first. Okay. So like, you know, okay, if you ask any married any woman on her wedding day, do you think your husband will cheat? She'll probably say it probably. Yes. That's true. But anyway, what can I do? I got to get married. But if you ask, if you asked a groom any groom on his wedding day, do you think your wife or she'll say, Absolutely not? Not my woman? She's different.
I'll give you I will give you I'll give you that.
He's not even willing to entertain the possibility. Yeah. Which is why when men find out usually they handle it very poorly. Yes. Whereas women handled it better because they kind of expected
it. Yeah, we socialized into it. Right?
So so when I come out and just say, you know, what, by the way, all women cheats. I don't know why women say oh, why do you hate women? I mean, I'm just stating a fact.
I wouldn't go as far as saying because for me, I can't go as far as saying all men cheats. I want to go as far as saying all women cheat because I've met people who are so pro monogamy right? That they have lack of a better term curtailed their natural instinct. To exercise or to even investigate, there are other options like I, it would be a mess of me to, to pretend even though it does it doesn't come naturally to me that there are women out there who are not just locks to Cumbria, like, I am going to commit to this man, I will sit down and die in it, right? There are people like that and when they land on and this is what I said, for me, this is why the red pill movement kind of bothers me because I'm like,
what does it Why do you care what the red pill movement thinks? Why don't you just let men do what they want to do? Like they whining all the time? Okay, let them why is that a problem for you? Because, okay, do
you know why it's a problem for me? Because then I come now, here's my problem, the red pill moment, there are those ones who seem reasonable ish, like you. Then they are the hardcore ones, the ones that will like and because they've lived in societies, whether it's Canada, USA in blah, blah, blah. They're telling men don't get married, if you get married, don't stay, don't stay in a relationship long enough for it to become common law. Yes. Do you understand that? Yes. Isn't
that? That's good advice, actually, in my opinion, you see,
that's I said, if you were moved to the west, you'd be the kind of red pill man, I can't stand where I'm like, Look, just use your common sense. If you find if you want a woman to commit long term, seek out the woman who wants to commit long term because they exist. Right. So yeah.
The thing is, you see and that's, you see, and that's the other flip side to it is so I I once had a phase where I was I was feeling I was feeling a bit disillusion, okay. And I was in this way you what would you call it? You call it A? What is it? The five stages of grief? It's called?
Which one? Is it? Acceptance or denial? No. Which is it?
bargaining? Oh, okay. Okay. Boy, like you kind of think the game is rigged, but like, you don't want to believe it. Okay. I can't be. Is it? Am I jumping to conclusions here is are things as bad as I think they are? No, they can't be. And so I went about trying to disprove it. Okay, so for a period of time, I purposely pursued people, women that I knew to be claimed.
Okay. Okay.
The results were interesting. Yes. So for a couple of months, I was just hitting up girls that either I knew were married or had boyfriends. And it's just an you know, in almost every case, there will just varying degrees of progression, of intimacy of intimacy. Yes, some all the way some halfway some early stages. You know what, let me let me just say that, and the ones who were like, cold like, no, no, no, absolutely not. Check on them again, a couple of months later, hi, hey, good. And why? Maybe because that day, they happen to be upset with their dude.
Oh, maybe they just want the attention and will not push it any further.
That's fine. But you see, my point is ask any man if you would even be comfortable with that? And I guarantee you 99% would say no, but 99% of men would not even want to fathom the idea of their woman texting a man for attention, sending some man nudes sending some, like, you know, you
you went about the in that phase of yours. You went about to prove that humans are humans? Well, it was important for me not it's not unique to women,
as women, so that's not what I'm in. That's not what I'm saying. By the way. I'm not. No, no, no, I
understand what men are angels. No, but I'm saying I'm saying with that understanding, right? You went out in your discovery phase in the bargaining phase, and then you discovered that women are not angels.
Okay. It was funny, like,
alright, but then it's problematic for me that that that example is very, very important. It was important, but I said you don't want I don't feel bad about it. Yeah. No, because if it wasn't me, yeah, that'd be another guy. But not problematic because of moralizing. It. No. I'm saying it's because you happen to be an I hate to say this, and this is going up to discussion. You happen to be in one of the most promiscuous towns I've ever had the pleasure of living in right. So the game is rigged in this town period and point blank. I can this just be the US Ugandans we've been, we've been knocking boots in put in. So why
don't you want men to know that? Why is it if I were to say I'm an extremist, and I'm white? So why shouldn't men be aware those that want to get into serious relationships or marriages that this is what they're dealing with that Add that a couple of months or a few years into their relationship, your madam is going to get that itch necessarily.
And the same thing gets together men, if you want a woman who's going to commit to you long term and be faithful,
p. And here's the funniest thing, when I would be when I would be dealing with those women in those situations, and let's say like their man would call them, I'd like sort of eavesdrop on the conversation, and I would hear the excuses she'd give to a cop to account for her whereabouts. And, and I'd find myself shaking my head because I'd be like, them. I heard these things. What she's saying right now, Oh, honey, I'm really so sorry. My fault the battery or traffic or at file some papers that were my sister this my sister that and even back then when I was told those things a part of me was like, it doesn't really make sense, right? But then now, you know, not now to see, you know, exactly live in practice. Said in front of me to another man. I'm like, okay, yeah, so that's exactly what was going on. Okay. So this is just so knowing this, you, I honestly can't ever enter into a relationship scenario and assume that I'll be the exception that I will happen to land on the girl that won't be that way. Okay, and then here's the thing. If I'm entering into the situation with a low investment mindset, it doesn't matter if she's like that. See, I'm not gonna be protective over her. I won't even demand fidelity from her, she can do what she wants. Okay. And so basically,
I can I can say this. And I guess we this has been enlightening for me, because it has changed a bit is given me more insight into what's really going on with the red pill movement, especially in this country. But for me, it's just saying you guys are just, it's an awakening, to watch you smell smelling the coffee, you just woken up and just realize human nature for his socks and Fox. But bucks, okay, plotting shots.
You know, it's hilarious, where, you know, scrolling through, you know, people's WhatsApp status. You know, like, some chick you smashed maybe a couple of years ago. And she's posting a picture of her family like I thank, you know, my loving husband who's been with me for all these so many years. And in my head, I'm thinking, Oh, crap, she was married. Okay. I didn't know. And knowing what I know now, like I said, it's the red pill you once you know it, you can't unknow it. So, essentially, I've just adapted to the new paradigm, and I'm finding a lot of peace and a lot of joy. And admittedly, it's going to be difficult for a lot of men to Swallow this pill. I think a lot of men still want to absorb the illusion that there is a woman that's an exceptional unicorn who is totally not like that, but unfortunately, nine times times out of 10 they are some men are okay with women being like that and are happy to marry them anyway. And to those men, I say more power to you.
Okay. Well, James, it's always a pleasure talking to you. We always have discussions that go completely different from where to go. To talk to you, this was fun. This was fun. Um, guys, stay safe. No men. Kinda. Come on, man. It's it's not that deep. Life sucks. Bye